You probably noticed this sentence in the past paragraph:
Well, I'm sorry I haven't updated in an attempt to keep the house from catching on fire (which failed).
You are probably thinking: IT FAILED!!!!!!!!!!! OMG STEPHANIE DIED AND IS NOW UPDATING FROM HEAVEN!!!!! (hey G-d, what up in the hizz-house?) WE MUST HOLD AN EMERGENCY MEMORIAL SERVICE TO MOURN THIS TRAGIC LOSS THAT WILL PROBABLY CAUSE A FALL IN THE STOCK MARKETS AND A DOWN HILL FALL OF OUR ECOMONMY!!!!!!!!!
No, that is not what happened, but I am touched at your reaction. Here's what really happened:
I was attempting to make a delicioso meal (dont'cha love my Espanol???) of schnitzel, coos-coos, and corn. And my mom always told me to turn the pan handles away from me and towards the inside of the counter. So of course, being the awesome good girl I am, I took this advice. Well, the handle from the schnitzel got WAY too close to the burner under the coos-coos. Basically, the handle caught on fire. Yeah.... I'm an awesome arsonist like that. My dad said it was the best meals we've had all week. Considering the Chinese food we had the night before, it was. (Let's just say, on the box the chicken looked REALLY good, but it looked like puke when we made it. Remember when I puked Raman noodles and strawberries Sars? That's what it looked like. End of story.)
So, at school we've been STAR testing (they were the easiest tests we've taken all year, seriously) and it has given me SO much time to read. In the past week I have finished four books. I know, it isn't much, but I've been uber busy latley, so I'm proud. Did you guys know that Meg Cabot is frikken amazing??? She has written sooo many great books. They're like Frosted Flakes. They're moooooooooooooooore than good! They're GRRRRRRRRREAT! I had Fruit Loops this morning. I haven't had Frosted Flakes in ages. They are GRRRRREAT. Tony the Tiger does not lie I tell you! What was I saying? Oh yeah, Meg Cabot. A-MAZING! And so is Sarah Mlynowski. Wait! I've got a plan!!!!! I will review the four books I've read in the past week! (all for girls ages 10 and up, excpet maybe Emily Ebers. I'd rate it lower, but it disguses "Mr. Monthly" as Sars likes to call it....)
So Totally Emily Ebers by Lisa Yee: Eh, it's okay. Let's just say, I wouldn't have read it if my sister hadn't dragged me to a Megan McDonald/Lisa Yee book signing AND Lisa Yee wasn't coming to my school for an assembly on Wednesday. That's a double whammy. It's about a girl named Emily Ebers who moves from Allendale, New Jersey to Rancho Rosseta, California fresh out of 6th grade with her recently divorced mom, Alice. There she meets Millicent Min, the only girl worse at volleyball then she is, and the quickly become best friends. There's also Stanford Wong, who just might turn out to be more then just a friend. The book is written through a series of letters to Emily's dad, who is supposedly on a comeback tour with his band, The Talky Boys.
Bras and Broomsticks by Sarah Mlynowski: When shoes appear on Rachel Weinsteins feets that DEFINITLEY weren't there this morning, she knows something is up. She never excpected the biggest practical joke alive: Her mother tries to convince her that her 12 year old sister, Miri, is a witch. But this is no joke. She really is magical! Together, Rachel and Miri see what situation magic can get them into. Especially where their dad and his fiance come in....... I picked up this book because I saw a sign at Barnes and Nobles that E. Lockhart, Sarah Mlynowski, and Lauren Myracle are doing a book signing there. I don't regret it. It was very funny and I can't wait to get my paws on the sequel.
The Ninth Key by Meg Cabot: The second installment of the Mediator series, I was not disappointed. In the first book, Susannah Simon moves from New York, New York to Northern California when her mother get's remarried. Susannah is sent to a Catholic private school where she soon discovers she shares a talent with the headmaster, Father Dominic: They can both speak to dead people. Only Suze thinks of it as more of a curse then a gift like Father Dom does. In this book, Suze is awoken by screams of a tear stricken ghost giving her an important message. This leads her to solving a series of crimes, and she makes new friends along the way. I loved the ending, definitley a shocker. I got the third book this morning, and I'm really excited.
Teen Idol by Meg Cabot: Jenny Greenley has always been that girl next door in her tiny town in Indiana. Everyone loved her and trusted her with her inner most secrets. Especially since she was secretly the high school's advice columnist Annie! All the teachers and adminastrators deeply trusted her because of this, and that is why they gave her the most secret job in the school. To guide Hollywodd heart-throb, Luke Striker, through the school for two weeks, without reaveling his identity, in order for him to study for his new role. This book definitley has it's moments, and I can definitley relate to her at some points. But I was disappointed by it's lack of surprises and twists. The ending was very predictable, but pleasing.
So, that is what I've been reading this week. I got soooo inspired by my love of the written word, that for my Leonardo da Vinci project in social studies I inventind:
THE BOOK IN A BOX!!!! (DUN DUN DUN)
This is a glass box you install to the wall of your shower that you can put a book in so you can read, while taking care of hygiene needs, without getting your book drenched. This comes complete with automatic page turners!!!!
Isn't that brilliant? Yay!!!!!!!!!! I love the word brilliant. It's so British. I love British things. I was wondering, why is it that books written in America don't have to be translated to be sold in Canada, but they do to be sold in England? But books written in England usually aren't translated to be sold in America? Well, I assume it's because they use a lot of different terminology in England. Here, if a guy came up to you and asked for a jumper, you'd give them a strange look and wonder why they asked for a dress. In England you'd give them a sweater.
Speaking of British stuff, when I saw The Lion the Witch in the Wardrobe on the big screen, I thought Georgie Henley (Lucy) was ADORABLE!!! My sister told me today that she's older then me. Wow. I'm going to go to my source really fast and look that up. Oh, she's only three months older then me. Big whoop, we could be in the same class.
OH MY ALICE BELLA CARLISLE JASPER ROSALIE EDWARD EMMETT ESME!!!!!!!!!! I SAW THE TWILIGHT TRAILER AND PRINTED THE POSTER!! My friend took the poster but oh well. AND today at Barnes and Nobles I saw THE HOST!!!!!!!!! I am so reading that when I have time. It's on my list. And as Sars knows it's a VERY long list so I won't go into detail. I can't wait until May 31st (Breaking Dawn chapter one AND the cover is realised AND New Moon in paper back), August 2nd (BREAKING DAWN hits shelves at 12:01 [and trust me, I'll be there]), and December 12th (Twilight the movie comes out!!!!).
Soooooooooooooooo, that's all I have to say. You better be happy about that because it took me and hour and two minutes to right. Also, I will never, EVER, be a phlebotomist in my life. I would rather be almost anything then that. Make that one hour and four minutes. Now for real, I am done.