Tuesday, January 27, 2009


I have a language arts final tomorrow and instead of studying I'm writing in my blog! OH YEAH!

I choose to do this for two reasons:
Uno: Language arts is my best subject and I am so not worried about the final. From what my teacher has told us it is going to be so easy.
Dos: I have multiple funny stories to tell you, and I don't really know how I am going to transisition into each of them so I'll just go with the flow.

Last night I had a 45 minutes phone conversation with Chad, the tech support guy from Texas. It was so weird. My tivo wasn't working so I called tech support. And I spoke to a guy named Chad. From Texas. He fixed my tivo though. All we had to do was delete a bunch of stuff because we didn't have any room left thanks to a certain sister of mine who won't delete the inauguration. Which is 7 and 1/2 hours long. Seriously. She is never going to watch it start to finish. And if she wants to see his speech she can just go on YouTube. Honestly. So thanks Chad! You really helped. I'm telling you this because you didn't call me back between the hours of 6 and 7 Pacific Standard Time like you said to check on my progress. And American Idol is on in 8 minutes and if I'm not done blogging by then I expect it to be recording. You hear that Chad?

See, now I can't make a good transition into my next story! This is terrible. Well I'll just have to be random then.

I hate mint. Under any circumstance. I also hate libraries. Libraries disgust me. I love books (I own over 200) but I can't stand libraries. They just seem like dirty places to me. I won't deny that some pretty gross things have happened to my books. I sneeze on books. I cough on books. I even bleed on books (paper cuts, the nasty little buggers (I love when British people say bugger, so I had to incorparate it)).

So how can I tell what these books have been through? Who knows how many people have touched them? Sneezed on them, coughed on them, even SMOKED on them! We all know second hand smoke is dangerous. It can even cause lung cancer. I can see it now, a booky little nerd walks into the doctors office one day....
Ummm..... Gretchen: Doctor Rip Studwell, I've been coughing like crazy and I don't know what's going on!
Doctor Studwell:We'll have to run a few tests before I could properly diagnos this. It will only take a few minutes.
Doctor Studwell: Gretchen, I'm afriad I have some bad news.
Gretchen: What's up Doc? (Looney Tunes ;)!!!! I <3>
Doctor Studwell: I'm afriad you have (dramatic pause while music plays) lung cancer.
Gretchen: (starting to sob) But doctor, I don't smoke. No one in my family, or even any of my friends smoke. I live in a farm community with fresh air. I only ever really go to the library...
Doctor Studwell: Did you say LIBRARY???? (dun dun dun)
Gretchen: Of course, I just checked out War and Peace for the 1,523,845,993th...
Doctor Studwell: That might be your problem. You have contracted 2nd hand smoke from going to the library to often.
Gretchen: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Creepy announcer dude who isn't Don LaFontaine: What will happen to Gretchen? Will Doctor Studwell's hair gel seep into his brain? Tune in next week on: *insert punny soap opera title here*
If anyone knows where Doctor Rip Studwell comes from you'll get a special prize!!!!!!!
I have one more funny story but it might not be that funny. It's only funny on video and Snickers video taped it as it happened but I can't post that here. So I'll try.
Well, I was cleaning up my dog's poop, and when I was done I was going to chuck it all over the fence like I usually do, because I live on top of a hill and the bunny rabbits and coyotes don't complain. But as I was throwing it, my hand slipped on the handle of the pooper scooper and it wen't flying over the fence into the bushes.
Well, I couldn't get it back. So I grabbed the lemon picker and got seated on top of the fence but I still couldn't get the pooper scooper back, so I had to climb over. Once on the other side, low and behold, the lemon picker broke. So I had to hack through the bushes until I was able to get the pooper scooper and lemon picker (both pieces). I then through those over the fence and hoisted myself over. I also fell in the dirt. I almost slid down the hill.
See that totally wasn't funny. Bleh.
Speaking of fences how can people on the East Coast not have fences in their backyard? What if you have a dog or a pool or little kids? I'd feel very unsafe.
Happy birthday to Willian Amadeus Mozart, Lewis Carrol, and Alan Cumming!
Oh that reminds me! My school is nominated for this awesome performing arts award so they came and watched the choir and the band and orchestras and they went to the art classes and some people from the cast of the play did scenes for them. IT WAS SO COOL! They video taped us in choir. And Snickers had a case of sour grapes because French isn't considered an art. Deal with it Snickers you got to perform with the cast.
Now I am going to watch American Idol! GOOD BYE!

Saturday, January 24, 2009


"Life sucks, and then you die." -Jacob Black.

Never were truer words spoken my friend.

I have finals next week. I am sooooo excited. Wednesday is language arts (my favorite and easiest class) and foreign language, but I don't take foreign language so I am happy! Thursday is math (my hardest class) and P.E. (my least favorite class). Then on Friday I'm taking social studies and science, the two classes in which my teachers gave me humongous packets with the information on the final. My hand is so sore from defining 111 words for science today.

Without the burden of finals on my hands my mother is once more in Israel without me, and she just decided to extend her say for a few more days. I am overjoyed.

Wow I sound emo today. I'm not. I'm just really annoyed at the world. You know, teenage angst.

That reminds me, my friend K.C. let me borrow a book of stories called Love Is Hell and it was SO good! Way better than Prom Nights From Hell. Which I hate to say because that included most of my favorite authors. I mean, out of five stories in that one, maybe three were good. In the new one I loved four of them. Here's my review (with lots of spoilers):

The first story was about a girl who moves and a ghost comes to her in her dreams and yada yada yada. Predictable, but well written.

Then there was a story called "Stupid Perfect World" by Scott Westerfeld. I loved the Uglies series he wrote, so I though I'd like his story. It was pretty good. It takes place in the future and the high schoolers take a course called Scarcity and for a project they have to take on an ailment from the old world, our world, for two weeks. The main characters, Kieran and Maria take on interesting challenges. Kieran decides to take on sleeping, as in he has to sleep everyday like we do. Maria decides to get rid of her hormone balancers and act like a normal teenage girl. It was really funny.

The third story "Thinner Than Water" was my favorite. It was about this girl named Jeannie who lives in an old fashioned town where everyone is all Amish or whatever and creepy. Jeannie's family is even more stuck in the old ways then the rest of the town, so they pulled her out of school when she was fifteen even though she really wants to be a doctor. So now she is 16 and they want to marry her off. So the story starts on this holiday called Lammas Day where all the eligible females sit on top of a hill and all the bachlers climb up the hill and decide which girl they want to court, and if a year from the day they are still together they get married. So Jeannie starts dating this guy named Robbie who everyone in the town hates because they think he's a fairy or a demon or whatever. But she loves him, so a year later they decide they want to get married. So Jeannies mother and father and pretty much everyone else in the town (besides her best friend Fiona's family who are modern) come and take Robbie away and drown him in the river.

So Jeannie gets all pissed and with the help of Fiona and her family they attempt at raising money for her to move to the city and go to school so she can become a doctor. But everytime she has enough something bad happens and she can't leave.

So a year after Robbie died it's Lammas Day again and she starts dating this guy named Charlie to cover up that he's gay (because their town is so old fashioned they'd probably kill him too if anyone found out). So Jeannie and Charlie get married and decide when they raise enough money they'll move to the city together. As friends obviously. They're only pretending to be in love.

But then one day she's down at the river washing clothes when everything pauses except herself and Robbie shows up and is all, "My body sunk into the ground and I'm a fairy now so if you let me kill you, you'll be a fairy too! YAY!" But Jeannie is all, "No way Jose! I don't wanna die! I wanna be a DOCTOR!" And that's it.

The 4th story was called "Fan Fictions" and it was SO messed up. At first I'm like, why do I feel like I'm reading Twilight over again? It was like a carbon copy of Twilight! But there was a MAJOR twist at the end. So major I can't even repeat it. It was majorly major. Major with a British accent major. Like Posh Beckham major.

Anyhoo I though the last story was majorly dumb. It was about seal people or what ever.

And that's it. I've been wasting my finals studying time by reading really bad Fan Fiction with Sars. It's thoroughly entertaining.

Happy birthday to Raaviv (Ricky) Ullman!

I am tired. It's 6:55 and I am tired. I need caffeine...

Saturday, January 17, 2009


Am I the only one who realized I've been blogging for over ONE YEAR now?!?!?!? I feel SO old. My first post was January 7th, 2008. WOWZA.

I bet Snickers is laughing her face off right now. She laughs at everything. Especially when it isn't funny. And if something is supposed to be funny, she doesn't get it. So now she's proabably laughing hysterically even though this is not supposed to be funny. Ashley probably is too. It doesn't take much to make her laugh. She even laughs at compliments.

It takes a lot to make me laugh though. A lot of things just aren't funny.

It is funny though, when one member of your P.E. volleyball team repeatedley gets hit in the face. That is funny.

You see, Sophie (my locker buddy because the P.E. people didn't have enough big lockers for everyone) and I decided we were going to make the weirdest volleyball team possible. It didn't work out to well though. We're still weird. Not as weird as possible, but weird enough.

But one of our team member never fails to make us laugh. Not that he's funny or anything. He just gets hurt a lot.

Time number one: We were practicing bumping and he and Sophie ran up to hit the ball. Sophie got to it first, and when she spiked it it went right in his face.

Number two: He decided he was going to imitate Sophie. He hit the ball as high as he could and when it came down it hit him in the face.

Number three: He was really close to the net and when the other team hit it over, it hit him in the face. Bet you didn't see that one coming.

Good time, good times.

Well...... yeah. I've been in a major musical mood latley. Songs have been getting stuck in my head like crazy.

For example, "Sisters, Sisters" from White Christmas. Because at the spring concert for the choir I'm in, we're aloud to do solos or duets so my sister and I might sing that song. Cute I know.

My room is so clean right now it's hard for me to concentrate. But I can't make it dirty because tonight Sars and Snickers are coming over to do my science project that's due Tuesday and I haven't started yet. They're good friends. Well, Snickers is. I don't know about Sars, I think she's just coming to see if I can blow anything up.

For some reason, I woke up at about 6:45 this morning and decided to watch Annie on the Hallmark Channel. The remake not the origanal. I like that one better. Annie was the first play I ever saw by the way. It holds an important place in my heart. (Dramatic music playing in background)

That movie has my favorite villians of all time though. Rooster, Lily, and Miss Hannigan are AMAZING. Just saying. Villians are always more fun in musicals.

But while I was watching, I realized the awkwardness of the Annie/Warbucks duet. The slow annoying one not "I Don't Need Anything But You." I like that song, it's catchy. But the first one, "Something was missing" or something like that really annoys me (couldn't find video for that one. I guess I'm not the only one that finds that song slightly obnoxious). It's like they're confessing they're love for eachother. I mean, they are, but he wants to adopt her not marry her! It's just a bit to close to comfort for me. And Victor Garber is scary looking bald.

Has anyone besides me realized how many times Victor Garber has played a lawyer? Seriously. Twice that I can think of (the best being Mr. Callahan in Legally Blonde. Love that movie.) but probably more.

That about raps it up. Happy birthday to Ben Franklin, Anne Bronte, Al Capone, Betty White, Shari Lewis, Michelle Obama, and Zooey Deschanel! Have a great one.

By the way, did you know one of the guys who signed the Declaration of Independence was named William Williams? Poor kid.

Also, am I the only one who thinks James Madison looks like an adorable two year old (only in this picture, all the others he looks old)? My friends don't understand me. Well, K dots says she sees it but I don't know if she's humoring me or not.

Saturday, January 10, 2009


Hey guys! I really am a bad blogger. What a great way to start out the new year.

I've just been so busy latley. School is SO hectic. But I have been writing. I just haven't found any time to blog. But I did write a really good story, I got a 30 out of 30 on it in language arts. And now I get to write an expository paragraph. Don't ask.....

Anyways, something really funny happened today.

I was lying on the couch next to my mom watching Mamma Mia! (which I got on DVD for Chanukah, thanks Grandma and Grandpa!). I felt something start to crawl up my back, so I karate chopped whatever it was with my hand.

My mom and I both started yelling in pain. Here's what happened:

My mom had grabbed the back of my shirt, thinking it was a blanket. I thought her hand was a bug so I hit it right on her wedding ring. Diamonds (are a girls best friend) can be pretty painful. Ouch.

Speaking of pain, I went to a Murder Mystery diner at the local high school with my friends last night. It was SO much fun! It started out where the waiters came out and gave us our appetizers (veggies and dip) which was hysterical, because all the waiters were the theater parents. So I got to be served by all the adults involved in the play basically. Our director, costume designer, vocal coach, and all the volunteers! It was hysterical, because usually they're bossing me around and instead they were bringing me water. You gotta love it.

So after that they did the first act. And in the end of the first act someone died. Then there was the first intermission, where we had dinner (pasta and breadsticks). Then came act two where more clues were revealed. In the second intermission, the characters came out into the audience and we were able to buy clues from them, and the first group to figure it out won. Then in the third act they revealed the murderer. My group didn't win.

But trust me on this one. We know who actually did it. Sarah, Evan, The Sign Guy (Signisha Guyisha), and the balloons were all in an allegience. And they did it. FOR SURE.

And we made a Venn-Diagram!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Venn-Diagrams rule!

Happy birthday to the late Ray Bolger! YAY!

That's it. Bye.