As the title implies, my weeks have been long recently. Stressful and scary and sad and altogether not good. This is going to be mostly a bit of reflection on my part, and definitely more depressing then what I usually choose to write about, but here it goes.
On Monday after fourth period, already thoroughly depressed by a movie I watched about the slave trade, I walked out of class to find out that my friend's boyfriend took his own life.
The shock I felt upon hearing the news was indescribable, and I can't even imagine how his parents and close friends felt. I hadn't known him personally, we went to Hebrew School together when we were little. I know him best as that guy I had to pretend to be married too for a Hebrew School play. It was very embarrassing for my approximately 10 year old self.
However, I still felt the pang of a loss. It was a loss to the community and a loss to my friend. The feeling is completely indescribable.
The following evening a candlelight memorial was held in the main quad at my school. The same event was used to honor two other students, one died of an accidental alcohol-related incident and another committed suicide a few weeks earlier. The memorial was one of the most painful events I've ever attended. Hearing the cries of a mother whose son is no longer with us is something that no one should ever have to experience. I felt guilty for sobbing over bad grades and fights with my parents. Those weren't real tears. The tears of the boys' mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, girlfriends, friends, classmates, and teachers were.
It's hard to think about the things people said. The speeches given by loved ones were emotionally stirring and hard to listen too. Wax from the candle I was holding melted all over my shoes, and I can't bring myself to clean them. It's a reminder of the things I heard.
If one positive thing can come from these horrible tragedies, it is that we can learn that every action we choose to take affects someone else. The harsh words we say, sometimes jokingly, mean something, but so do the kind ones. Words of kindness and friendship are the best things we can offer to anyone. Sometimes people put on a brave face and act like they're okay, but oftentimes the bravest ones are those who are the most sad. Be there for them. Let them know that they aren't alone. And if you have any suspicion that they might hurt themselves, or even take their own life, tell an adult.
That's pretty much all I have to say right now. I have to go make people laugh, which is probably one of the best things I can do right now. Just.... love everybody. That's what I'm trying to do.