Sunday, December 5, 2010

I need to post more often.

Being in a contemplative state isn't healthy. In the immortal words of Gaston, "Lefou, you know I've been thinking. [A dangerous pastime] I know."

Thinking, albeit important and necessary to live a valuable existence, only leads to problems. When ever I think to much I either sink into a tearful depression or get really pissed off about something. And any of my friends would testify to the fact that I over think and over analyze absolutely everything. But hey, that's what a five year and running career in the English Honors world will do to a girl. That, and watching one to many chick flicks.

In case you were wondering, the topic I have been thinking too much about is college. And I know that isn't unusual, but it's extremely stressful. I don't exactly know what I want to major in (or for that matter what I want to do with my life), so I have been trying to plan my high school career accordingly by taking as many challenging courses as possible (except in the science and math areas), and this is causing many scheduling conflicts in the future. Next year I might even take a zero period, which means getting to school a full hour and forty minutes before the rest of the student body. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'm running out of options if I want to get nine classes out of the way next year. Most students take six in a year, but I'm planning on taking one over the summer, one after school, and one before school.

I'm going to die. That's it. If the Mayans are correct I'm not making it past winter vacation of my senior year anyway. What's the point in trying?

Oh yeah. I don't believe anything the Mayans said.

It's funny how belief and disbelief are both used in the same manner. (WARNING: You are entering a random tangent zone.) I mean, don't people use religion and lack thereof to accomplish the same thing, justification? When something bad happens, a religious person says, "Well, God must have a plan," when a non-religious person would say, "Well, there is no plan." That didn't make as much sense as it did in my head. And in case you didn't know, I'm Jewish.

Religion is another thing that thinking too much about can end destructively. That sounded bad too. I'm all for the questioning of one's faith, I've been encouraged to do so as far as Judaism goes, but I feel like people, especially my age, get so worked up about things. People get so angry at each other and speak without thinking and say things that are really offensive. My opinion is that if you're religion makes you happy and you aren't hurting anyone, go for it. But I've heard some pretty hurtful things said over this topic. Friends telling friends they're going to burn in hell, making fun of a culture, denying someone's sexuality, and all sorts of other things that were just completely out of line. High school is not a place to preach. It is a place to discuss, and maybe even argue, but one of my biggest pet peeves is having a belief forced on me. I never bring up religion in a secular setting, but I try to speak politely and with tact when other's do. I don't really understand why religious and non-religious people don't do the same.

Rant over. I honestly don't know what brought that on. That's just how my brain works, I jump subjects much quicker then most people. It's really funny actually, sometimes I have to explain to people how I got on a topic. We could be talking about what to eat for dinner, and then I think about food, and then I think about Italian food, and then I think about this cute little Italian restaurant I went to in New York, and then I think about the creepy guy with a video camera who was acting suspiciously by their bathroom, and then I think about suspicious behavior in general, which reminds me of creepy things, which reminds of the trailer I saw for The Black Swan, which reminds me of ballet, which reminds me of my friend Arielle who is currently in rehearsals for The Nutcracker, which causes me to inquire whether we have purchased tickets or not. Except this all happens in less then one second. And in my brain. So I get weird stares a lot. I started talking about Tina Fey once during a Socratic seminar on women in The Renaissance. I'm a strange person sometimes. Or all the time. What ever.

Happy birthday to Ira Gershwin, Judd Apatow, and quite a few other people. It is also my cousin Yoav's birthday, whom I miss very much due to his current residency in Israel and the fact that I haven't seen him in almost a year. And Happy fifth day of Chanukah. I hope you've all been enjoying the holiday. Shalom Aleichem.

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