Tuesday, January 25, 2011

New Semester Resolutions

If any of you out there have been faithfully reading my blog, you would know that I made some new year's resolutions. I followed them for about one week, and then my mom went to Israel and the stress of finals set in... I had to take a break from trying to improve myself while I was working on grades and, you know, surviving without my mommy.

So I reassessed my goals and decided to make New Semester Resolutions, and after the first two days of the new semester I can tell you that they aren't working out too great. At least my room is still pretty much clean, thanks to my lovely redesign, brought to you by Arielle, Sophie and my mommy. Wait, have I mentioned that before?

Anyway, the exercise thing didn't really happen. I bought a new pair of shoes and everything! The truth is, I've kind of lost the motivation. I'm not as smart as I thought I was, so I will be retaking a math course for a better score this summer and I will not get to go on the vacation I've been dreaming about. I want to lose weight and be self-motivated, but it doesn't work like that. I really need to find a way to do this that isn't forcing myself to run when I'm too tired to think. My body can't handle it. In dance today we had to run a mile, but since I lied to the state last year (shh, don't tell anyone) they think I'm physically fit, so I don't have to try this year and I walked a brilliant 18:19 mile. And the sad thing is, if I had put in an effort, I don't think I would have gotten to much faster. My best mile time EVER was approximately 11:00, and that was at a time where I had P.E. daily and actually tried. My body doesn't run. I'm flexible, I can do yoga and that random stuff, but I am not capable of running.

Every semester I hope things will magically get better, and it never does. The fact that I'm hideously sick right now doesn't help anything, especially not my morale. I'm congested and coughing my lungs out, my legs hurt, my lips are chapped, and I have two zits. Life kind of sucks right now.

My lack of motivation to do anything isn't going to benefit me. The only thing I care about right now is my English class, and my theatre stuff I do on Saturdays, even though I'm kind of behind on some of my work for that. I'm sick, damnit.

I need to quit while I'm ahead... I doubt this blog post makes any sense. Basically, here are the points I was trying to make:
  • I totally haven't been exercising and I can't decide if I care enough to start again.
  • I haven't been writing, and I think I do care enough to start again.
  • I want to do better in school, but that never happens.
  • I'm sick.
  • I can't handle anything else right now.
Happy birthday to Virginia Woolf, Etta James, and Ana Ortiz. Awesome.

To conclude, I'd like to make a general shout-out to my period 3, English II Honors class. I love everyone in that class and my teacher and our bonding over communist rainbow fish. I know none of you are reading this, but to whoever is, that class is the only thing I really look forward to these days.

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