Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Today I Went to a Swim Meet

So, according to the title of this blog I went to a swim meet today. Let's run with that.

I have this friend and this friend has a boyfriend. Their names are respectively Elizabeth and James. Does this remind you of British monarchy? It should. Anyway, they've been dating for quite sometime now, and until today I had NEVER, not once met James.

Well, once we were trying to group chat on Skype and his camera was on but mine wasn't yet, and I could see him but he couldn't see me, and I don't think my mic was on because I kept yelling, "AAAAHHHH IT'S A PUPPY!!!!" because he was holding a puppy, and his face remained blank the entire time. I later found out he was holding a cat.

BACK ON TOPIC. So, today I had the opportunity to meet James in person because his school was coming to a swim meet at Elizabeth and mine school. Was that proper grammar? I don't care. But unfortunately, in order to get to the part where I actually get to speak to James, I had to watch people, clad in basically nothing, swim. This event caused me to be reminded once more why I really dislike organized sports.

People yell at kids. And it's really inappropriate and it's kind of like child abuse and I really don't like it. First there are the coaches, who yell at the kid currently in first place to, "SWIM FASTER!!!!" Get off their backs, they're in first place and are about to win. Jesus. Then, after the kid who was in first place get's first place, they go run over to the kid in last place and go, "GO GO GO GO GO!! YOU GOT THIS GURLFRAND." Speaking as someone who was almost always in last place in every race I ever partook in, it doesn't help when people start yelling at you. When I was in elementary school and we would run the mile, and everyone in my class had finished ten minutes ago and I was holding everyone up because I wasn't done yet, and all my friends would start cheering for me and spurring me onward, most of the time I just started crying because I knew they just felt bad for me and everyone was watching me get all sweaty and gross while running slowly. I was a sensitive child.

Then, after the coaches, it's the parents. I cannot stand sports parents. They sit in the stupid bleachers on their stupid cushions and yell at their stupid kids because they aren't stupid fast enough. I'm sorry for my lack of thesaurus usage in the last sentence, but as you can see this really bothers me. Parents are supposed to be encouraging, not demeaning. And there's a big difference between constructive criticism and yelling, because I have nothing against calmly discussing what can be improved upon. Yelling is the problem. And the absolute worst part is when the parents start yelling at other people's kids. It's completely inappropriate and disgusting.

Elizabeth pointed out that often through out the meet, I would go, "Hmm," really quietly. Honestly, it's because I was making a mental anthropological study of this subculture of society that I really don't understand. And I wasn't watching anyone in the pool, because I decided that the best part is when they all dive in and go a little bit deep and everything's quiet for a couple milliseconds before everyone starts frantically swimming and such. I was watching all the swimmers waiting for everyone, they were so funny. It really is quite humorous to observe the behavior of athletic and often attractive teenagers as they walk around in barely nothing. And by that, I do partially mean it was nice to see all the really hot guys. But it was also funny to see how they act.

So, basically, I still don't understand the sport thing. I don't understand the players, parents, coaches, or any of that. It's just not my thing. And the funny part is when I'm rehearsing, my theatre teacher will yell at me. I totally don't mind it. It's supposed to help me improve. But obviously, she would never do that to me during a show. This analogy would imply that I think it's acceptable for coaches to yell at their players during practice, but not at a game or meet when other people are around.


By the way, in case any of you were wondering, I found James to be a perfectly acceptable human being for my best friend to have a romantic relationship with, and on the plus side, he is more attractive in person and I applaud Elizabeth for finding such a nice-looking boyfriend. Well done.

(He also possesses many other nice character traits that make him good for Elizabeth.)

Happy birthday to Mary Wollstonetcraft (yay, AP EURO IMPORTANCE), Samuel F.B. Morse, Ulysses S. Grant, Coretta Scott King, and William Moseley.

This blog post about swim team totally reminded me of something. Seeing as I go to a public school with little to no boundaries, at every pep rally during the season sports team parade thing, at least one sports team does a strip tease. It always happens, it's inevitable. This year at the fall pep rally, the football team stripped at the absolute horror of the audience. It was completely uncomfortable and awkward for the football team to be wearing boxer shorts and wife beaters. At the winter pep rally, the water polo team stripped down to their Speedos, and probably every single girl in that gym was drooling and it was wonderful. I don't know what happened at the spring pep rally because I was at a theatre festival. Well, that's life.

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